


Dino-bore

by Squidsplosion



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bad Puns, Dinosaurs, Dorks, Jurassic Park AU, M/M, Public Blow Jobs, Puns & Word Play, all sex related tags are mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2015-06-22
Packaged: 2018-04-05 13:19:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4181283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squidsplosion/pseuds/Squidsplosion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takao just wants to get away from the dinosaurs, but he's pretty sure Izuki's puns will beat them to it.<br/>or the Jurassic Park AU that nobody asked for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dino-bore

**Author's Note:**

> A SASO2015 prompt asking for a Izuki/Takao Jurassic Park AU.  
> They wanted puns.  
> Lots of puns.

“Have you ever thought about having a tea party with one of those?” Izuki muttered a member of his seemingly never-ending list of puns into Takao’s ear, completely unaffected by the fact they were probably going to get _eaten_ and definitely _die_.

It started out okay. The duo were on a date with full access passes, given via a certain green haired doctor who was in charge of the whole place (and dating Akashi, the supervisor, which, according to Midorima, he was ‘not’ using his body to get what he wanted.) The day went along pretty well, aside from some needless puns _“You want a snack, Izuki?” “I think we’ll find some in a dino-store.”_ Then they were evacuated. Twice.

They didn’t exactly hear the second call, since Izuki thought it would be a good idea to have sex in one of the bathrooms (after a particularly crude line of puns, ending with “oral sex can make your day, but anal sex makes your whole weak.”) Not that the event was disappointing, but Takao never wanted something on his tombstone to say something along the lines of: “RIP Kazunari Takao, died because of a random bathroom BJ preventing him from leaving the stupid dinosaur island.”

But that wasn’t important anymore. They were going to die, and Izuki was probably going insane by thinking about _tea time with dinosaurs_.

“Izuki did you hit your head on something-”

“I can imagine it now- ‘tea, Rex?’” Izuki eyes were sparkling, filled with pride at his usage of his arsenal of puns.

“I hate you so much,” Takao gritted his teeth (he obviously didn’t mean it- he loved his boyfriend to pieces, just not his puns). He made a mental note to officially introduce Izuki to doctor Midorima to say ‘hey, here’s someone more annoying than me. Hopefully it didn’t break the space time continuum.’ But that’s highly unlikely- the last time he saw the green haired giant was when he was beelining for the velociraptor cages, muttering something about ‘pack hunters’ and ‘trust’, stuffed animal lucky item in hand (albeit covered in mud from running around, or having sex with his boyfriend).

The duo froze when they heard loud footsteps approaching. Izuki looked momentarily terrified, whereas Takao was silently thanking his Hawk Eye for noticing the perfect spot.

“Quick! Hide under the truck!” Takao whispered, pulling Izuki along with him as they made way for the destination. A few tense moments passed before heavy footsteps faded away. Izuki burst into giggles.

“I don’t think he saur-us.”

“OH MY GOD,” Takao threw the first item he could get his hands on before a familiar clinking sound reached his ears. Were those the keys? “Oh shit, give me those.”

“There is only one way to turn on the car, and this is the key.” Takao refused to acknowledge he even _heard_ that pun (despite it confirming his suspicions) before jumping into the car.

* * *

~~Later  
The car ride was surprisingly silent. Not a single dinosaur was chasing them, not a single pun heard from Izuki, who was currently asleep. Glancing over, he tapped his boyfriend on his shoulder, not wanting to be so alone (although he’d never say that.) Izuki sat up quickly, startling Takao “These jokes are terrible.”

“You finally realize that?! I didn’t even know you had so many dinosaur jokes.”

Izuki sighed and glanced out the window. Takao felt his eyes drawn to slightly parted lips and almond shaped eyes. Was his boyfriend always this attractive? Apparently a life or death crisis makes him ho- “I guess that makes me a dino-bore.”

The duo stared at each other- Izuki’s eyes sparkling and Takao’s filled with annoyance.

“Get out. You’re walking.”


End file.
